The begining

Ok in order to really do this correctly I need to really start at the very beginning.  This is very emotional for me but a very important part of the story.  At the age of 23 after complications and medical problems I was told I would never have children again and had a hysterectomy.  This was such a heartbreaking moment in my life. I had dreams for years of being in a delivery room giving birth and I would catch myself touching my stomach earning to feel a baby move.  After years of battling with bipolar  in 2008 my first husband committed suicide.  I had such mixed feelings and I felt confused as to where I wanted my life to go.  In the spring things really turned around for me: I met the man who really is my better half.  I don't know how to describe it but I do believe that God brought him into our lives to heal all of our broken hearts.
He accepted me and my past and loved the girls as his own. He lived in Idaho so we did the long distance relationship.  He would come down to visit us when he could and we spent hours and hours on the phone.  We had some amazing adventures together: Bear lake, lava hot springs, Oregon and a cruise.  I did something that really scared me but I went back to school and got my first 4.0 and was on the deans list and finished my two year technical diploma and am now a Certified Para Optometric Technician!  We went through several deployments together and in 2010 he was PCS'd to England.....this redefined long distance but we both wanted to see where our relationship would go.  In 2011 we started to really really talk about our relationship and the one thing we both wanted: a baby....so we started to do research to see if this was a possibility.  In the summer he came to Utah and we went together to Oregon for a family reunion and upon return he proposed and within 4 days we got married.  Engaged on a Friday, married on a Monday and then he left to go back to England on a Friday.  Before he left we went for an initial consultation at the University of Utah for gestational surrogacy. 
I had two children that were genetically mine and so surrogacy would allow him a child that would be genetically his.  With surrogacy there are two options in Utah: you go through an agency or do it on your own.  If you go with an agency they handle all of the legal work and the screening that has to be done: but this is very very expensive.  We found a lawyer who was able to have children because of a surrogate and because of this he has had women come to him with the desire to be surrogates.  He then did a simple questionnaire with them and kept them in a data base for people like us.  For a fee you have access to all of the profiles and based on this you pick one or two and he gets you in contact with them.  From there you have to arrange and take care of the medical screening and all of the process that has to be done to make it a legal process.  When choosing the woman who will be carrying your child for you it becomes such an emotional process....but exciting and spiritual as well.