trying to pick myself up....

Well I am totall mental mush. I know have gotten through all the things that have to be taken care of and now I am just trying to pack of my life and wow I didn't think it would be this hard. I guess you do get a lot of junk after nine years together. The hardest part is thinking I should be moving with him not because he is gone. This week I am going to return to work and I forsee it being difficult for the first couple of days- the every day things I am used to like our eleven and one thirty phone conversations that will not be there. The girls are doing ok they seem to bounce back pretty good. This has made me realize just how precious life is- I will never take for granted what I have cause even though he isn't here I still have the two best parts of him left.

Today

Well, I have now gotten through what I forsee as being the most difficult thing that I will ever have to go through. As the week progresses all I can think of is all the happy times we had together: camping, boating, swimming, vacations, fourwheeling and sooooo much more. I remember when I was in the hospital getting ready to deliver our first daughter Shelby and the nurse came in the room and I asked her if she had seen my husband and she said no I don't think so, but there is a guy in the halls with a diaper bag and car seat walking up and down asking all the nurses if he looked like a dad yet. Just then Dan walks in the room and the nurse said oh it's your husband! That was and is him-the best husband and father in the world. Hew worked two jobs the first year we were married so we could get our house before Shelby was born so we didn't have to bring home a new baby to an apartment.
I suppose one day I will feel ok again, but for today I am sad, confused and have sooo much support but feel soooo alone. Dan was is and always will be my best friend and soul mate.

my sorrow

I am writting in the midst of having to deal with something no one should ever have to go through. I lost my husband this last weekend and in and through all this I have learned a lot. I will see Dan again and he will help me get through this. I am a much stronger person than I gave myself credit for. I have the best part of Dan still with me-Shelby and Shaylee. And finally: Don't hold on to any petty thing cause at the end of the day and with all this crap we fret and stress over guess what? None of that really matters. Dan- I love you and just know that I will do what I need to do so that I will hold you and hug you and get to spend forever with you. I love you, your wife, Elizabeth Shaw

Quirks

Tagged by Sarah
Definition of a Quirk:n.1. A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy:2.an unpredictable or anaccountable act or event; a vagary: a quirk of fate.
"Every Man has his own quirks and twists" Harriet Beecher Stowe

Rules: Link the person who tagged you. Mention rules on your blog. Tell 6 quirks about yourself. Tag six fellow bloggers to do the same. Leave a comment to let them know.
1. You will never see me wear socks with sandles.I can't handle it socks with sandles is gross!
2.Killing spiders- at home I always either spray them or vacuum them up- I can't handle that crunching noise -yuck!
3. Bath Water- I always fill up the bath-then get in. I usually fold laundry while waiting for it to fill up- I hate wasting time waiting for it to fill up.
4. DVR- I don't watch live tv now. If a show I like is on right now I will record it and then fast forward through it - I hate commercials.
5. Solicitors- I am very straight forward with them- if I wanted a product I would go and buy it myself and I don't beat around the bush and get their hopes up like my husband does I just say NO!!!!
6. I am always cold- even in the summer sitting in the movies I have to take a jackert cause I get cold so easy.

I tag: Jackie- Sorry I don't know alot of people who blog yet.

Hunting fever

Alright well today is the day better for Christmas for Dan- well I should say it is his Christmas. He is gone Elk hunting for 5 days. Oh boy, not my idea of fun but he lives for this time of the year. Although it is good girl bonding time for me and the girls so I won't compain.